I was late for the nth time this January. Great, just great. Man, I don't know, but ever since the start of this year, and with all the jazz about passing UPCAT and being finished with hell week, I just.. I've started to become too lazy now that sometimes I don't even have the motivation to get up and go to school on time. (There's also the fact that A doesn't go to school early, so why bother? ...I'm kidding.) Anyway, today I woke up late, and since we only had Music and they'd probably just distribute the 3rd quarter text papers, I decided to go late. The fact that I didn't have anything to wear (I was forced to put on my PE pants) also added to the time it took for me to get ready, which was forever.
As usual, the first thing I did when I arrived at school today was look for A. It's automatic now, see, because I've gotten so used to searching for her at school. Sometimes I don't even notice that I'm looking for her. I just do. Weird and creepy, but y'all can't blame me.
Unfortunately, I didn't see her. Where could she possibly be? It's been a week. It's been more than a week! Where is she? Where could she have gone? What has she been doing? Why isn't she coming to school? What is keeping her so busy? I keep seeing her classmates, but not her. Why? What? How?
Intense stalker + possessive mode ON. Feeling ko mas possessive pa ko sa boyfriend niya. Charot lang.
We have our vacant period during 8:00-9:00 AM every Thursday, so today I used that time to converse with Ianna with just about anything under the sun. We also received our scores in our Music and PE exams. In just a blink of an eye, it was time for Chemistry again. Well... fuck.
We were all just so drained during Chemistry that you wouldn't even hear a thing except for Ma'am Gordo speaking in front. I think for once Ma'am Gordo was secretly very proud of us, because it was literally the first time we've ever been that silent. Did Ma'am Gordo have us under a spell or something? Because it was so weird. The whole class fell silent, even the noisiest ones. What sucks is that time passes by so slowly during Chemistry, it's like it's been fucking with us. 9:00... I decided to write today's entry on a sheet of paper. 9:05... Emeliene noticed, and I had to be quick in giving out reasons, otherwise she would've gotten the paper and I would've been humiliated. 9:20...
I was so close to actually losing it. But just as I was about to, the bell finally rang. Literally saved by the bell, this time.
But hold on, I'm only getting started.
We have a different seat plan during Chem, so after chem we all go back to our proper seats. As I was going back to mine, I was thinking about the times I used to peek outside the door to see A teaching at Dahlia's. I even picked out a seat that would make me see her clearly as she was teaching. I miss those times. She's going away for their off-campus teaching soon, and boy am I going to miss her. Ngayon pa nga lang miss ko na siya, paano pa kaya kung talagang wala na siya? So yes, I was thinking about her then, and I really wanted to see her. But I didn't want to get my hopes up again. She's been gone for more than a week, what could possibly make today any different? I looked for her everywhere earlier this morning, but she wasn't there. If only today was just like the old days. I'd go outside the door and I'd see her in front of me, and my whole day would be complete. It would be enough to make me happy. The very sight of her would be enough.
Since Biology wasn't starting yet, I went outside. And in Dahlia's room, I saw a very familiar face... Someone... Oh hell no. Could it be? Could it possibly be?!
I squinted my eyes, and went closer... Closer... OH MY GOODNESS, IT WAS HER. IT WAS REALLY HER. RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. MA'AM JEANETTE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. There she was, sitting on a stool, a paper on both hands, talking in front of the class. Oh my goodness, I just wanted to run by her side and leap for joy and just hug her so tight, but I can't, so I kept my happiness all to myself. I stared at her, still not believing that it was true, that after more than a week of not seeing each other, there she was, finally, in the flesh. A wave of nostalgia hit me right then, and I realized just how much I've missed her. We still talk, but nothing beats seeing each other personally. I freaking missed her so much. I still do. I miss talking to her, laughing with her, hugging her, being my goofy self around her. Oh man. I was so struck, so amazed, so shocked that I literally stared at her until Bio started. I was so damn happy to see her, words couldn't express just how glad I was. I was sad that Bio had to start, because that would mean I wouldn't get to talk to her. I kept on wishing that Bio would finish sooner than usual so I could still see her after class.
I got so engrossed in the topic during Bio (Taxonomy) that I didn't notice the time. In the middle of the discussion, Lexin, Krizza and I were talking about who on earth Carolus Linnaeus was, and while I was talking, I just suddenly looked up, and I saw A passing by. She saw me, too. She smiled and kind of peeked her head through the door, and waved at me. I laughed, and waved back. I loved it when she was being her cute and goofy self. I just really really really wanted to scream, wanted to call out her name, wanted to go outside and hug her, but then Ma'am Andarino told us to prepare a sheet of paper for a quiz. Damn. Thanks a lot, Universe.
It still was a very precious moment for me, because she fucking noticed me! She fucking smiled and waved! I didn't expect that! ALL MY FUCKING FEELS, MAN! I almost cried, but instead I looked like an idiot in front of my friends because I was laughing and being kilig, so they were all like, "what on earth is the matter with you? Why are you acting like a madman?" and I told them A just passed by and waved at me, and I just couldn't control myself. I was just really really happy, I swear I almost passed out. I was so damn happy I could die! After more than a week of not seeing each other, there she was, doing the first move, waving and smiling at me. This day just couldn't get any better.
Because of that, I pretty much aced the Bio quiz.
I didn't see her anymore after Bio, so I went home. But Jhery Mae and Emeliene had other plans. We went to eat pizza for lunch. I told them that I'd been watching FlordeLiza during my spare time, and they just stared at me like I was the weirdest person in the world. I didn't care; I loved the Marvin-Jolina tandem. Last year, I got so addicted to them that I stayed up at night watching their old movies. Hey Babe, FLAMES, Labs Kita, Okey Ka Lang?, and other fluff. I was also so in love with Jolina's songs, even if they were so baduy and old. LOL. Lakas maka-90s eh. Turns out Jhery Mae has also watched Hey Babe and FLAMES, so we ended up telling the whole story to Emeliene. We talked about other stuff, things only we could understand, and then went home.
I didn't see A in school during the afternoon, which was quite a bummer. But I did see Sir Corsino putting up my classmate's pictures in our Students' Profile wall, and I noticed I WASN'T THERE. What even. They had a pictorial for the wall and I wasn't even informed! What? How? WHY?
So I just sat there, kinda bummed out that I wasn't in any of the pictures, but I figured I was going to be okay. We had Physics, but it was as boring as it could have gotten, and then we had a vacant period, to which I played cards and wrote the continuation of this entry. I also listened to Mariane's love story, which I personally think was the most heart-warming yet heart-breaking story of all time. I could relate to Mariane, too. The same thing happened to me, only Mariane's was the revised story of ours. And I fucking knew how Mariane felt. It's a good thing that Earl isn't a jerk like Karl. There was one thing that really hit me:
"I gave up something permanent for a temporary feeling."
She let go of Earl for what she thought she felt for Natalio. Turns out, Natalio didn't really love her, and she didn't really love him. And now that she finally realized that she still loved Earl, that her feelings never really went away... he's already with someone else.
Just, fuck, you know? Mariane and Earl were one of my favorite couples and it really hurts to see them this way. If only I could do something to help get them back together, I'd do it. But I can't. One thing's for sure, though. If they're meant to be, they will be. Fate will bring them together again.
Early this night, while I was scrolling through Facebook, patiently waiting for a miracle to happen, something popped up on my screen.
"Psst."
It was Andrei! He messaged me! I wonder how long it will take for him and me to finally start a good conversation and eventually just... click? Because I have the biggest crush on him, I've actually been crushing on him ever since high school, and I really really want to get to know him better. I like him, I like him a lot. I hope I do get to know him better. And I hope that maybe, just maybe, he could fall in love with me, because I'd easily fall in love with him.
He asked how I was doing, and I said I was okay. And that was it. He logged out. Weird. And it kinda hurt. Ugh, boys. I still and will never understand them.
So I continued scrolling through Facebook and going on Twitter and typing a post. Just then, my phone vibrated.
"Anak! :)"
OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. DID SHE REALLY JUST TEXT ME?! OH MY GOD! Sobrang haba ng hair ko today! I was so surprised I almost screamed. So, as if on impulse, I immediately replied: "Inaaaayyy!"
And we talked about almost everything. She asked how I was doing, and we talked about her clearance, how Ma'am Calixtro is still such a bitch and how she's forcing A to be the emcee of this year's prom (which I secretly liked, but since A didn't, then I had to pretend I didn't, too). She told me Ma'am Calixtro might use the emcee thing to get her to sign A's clearance form. Ugh, what an ass. A has every right to say no! I was secretly hoping for her to agree to be the emcee, but I don't want her to be forced about it. If she didn't want to be the emcee, then it was fine. As long as she's comfortable with her decision. I wouldn't want her to agree halfheartedly, because that would not be good. So I told her to decide on what she wants, and not let Ma'am Calixtro get the best of her. She asked me how my thesis was doing, and I almost cried because I AM NOWHERE NEAR FINISHED, but I told her it's doing great. I lied. I really do have to work on my thesis soon. ASAP. After a few more lines, she told me she needed to sleep because it's been such a long day. So I bid her good night, and wished her well.
Today was such a fairytale. Only... I wonder if she texts Julia, too? I wonder if she also sends her a message saying, "Anak!" because damn, that would totally hurt. Okay, I know, I'm overthinking again. I need to let it go! Let it go. Let. It. Go. Shake it all off. Ugh. Okay. I love you, A. I love you I love you I love you. See you tomorrow!
As usual, the first thing I did when I arrived at school today was look for A. It's automatic now, see, because I've gotten so used to searching for her at school. Sometimes I don't even notice that I'm looking for her. I just do. Weird and creepy, but y'all can't blame me.
Unfortunately, I didn't see her. Where could she possibly be? It's been a week. It's been more than a week! Where is she? Where could she have gone? What has she been doing? Why isn't she coming to school? What is keeping her so busy? I keep seeing her classmates, but not her. Why? What? How?
Intense stalker + possessive mode ON. Feeling ko mas possessive pa ko sa boyfriend niya. Charot lang.
We have our vacant period during 8:00-9:00 AM every Thursday, so today I used that time to converse with Ianna with just about anything under the sun. We also received our scores in our Music and PE exams. In just a blink of an eye, it was time for Chemistry again. Well... fuck.
We were all just so drained during Chemistry that you wouldn't even hear a thing except for Ma'am Gordo speaking in front. I think for once Ma'am Gordo was secretly very proud of us, because it was literally the first time we've ever been that silent. Did Ma'am Gordo have us under a spell or something? Because it was so weird. The whole class fell silent, even the noisiest ones. What sucks is that time passes by so slowly during Chemistry, it's like it's been fucking with us. 9:00... I decided to write today's entry on a sheet of paper. 9:05... Emeliene noticed, and I had to be quick in giving out reasons, otherwise she would've gotten the paper and I would've been humiliated. 9:20...
I was so close to actually losing it. But just as I was about to, the bell finally rang. Literally saved by the bell, this time.
But hold on, I'm only getting started.
We have a different seat plan during Chem, so after chem we all go back to our proper seats. As I was going back to mine, I was thinking about the times I used to peek outside the door to see A teaching at Dahlia's. I even picked out a seat that would make me see her clearly as she was teaching. I miss those times. She's going away for their off-campus teaching soon, and boy am I going to miss her. Ngayon pa nga lang miss ko na siya, paano pa kaya kung talagang wala na siya? So yes, I was thinking about her then, and I really wanted to see her. But I didn't want to get my hopes up again. She's been gone for more than a week, what could possibly make today any different? I looked for her everywhere earlier this morning, but she wasn't there. If only today was just like the old days. I'd go outside the door and I'd see her in front of me, and my whole day would be complete. It would be enough to make me happy. The very sight of her would be enough.
Since Biology wasn't starting yet, I went outside. And in Dahlia's room, I saw a very familiar face... Someone... Oh hell no. Could it be? Could it possibly be?!
I squinted my eyes, and went closer... Closer... OH MY GOODNESS, IT WAS HER. IT WAS REALLY HER. RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. MA'AM JEANETTE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. There she was, sitting on a stool, a paper on both hands, talking in front of the class. Oh my goodness, I just wanted to run by her side and leap for joy and just hug her so tight, but I can't, so I kept my happiness all to myself. I stared at her, still not believing that it was true, that after more than a week of not seeing each other, there she was, finally, in the flesh. A wave of nostalgia hit me right then, and I realized just how much I've missed her. We still talk, but nothing beats seeing each other personally. I freaking missed her so much. I still do. I miss talking to her, laughing with her, hugging her, being my goofy self around her. Oh man. I was so struck, so amazed, so shocked that I literally stared at her until Bio started. I was so damn happy to see her, words couldn't express just how glad I was. I was sad that Bio had to start, because that would mean I wouldn't get to talk to her. I kept on wishing that Bio would finish sooner than usual so I could still see her after class.
I got so engrossed in the topic during Bio (Taxonomy) that I didn't notice the time. In the middle of the discussion, Lexin, Krizza and I were talking about who on earth Carolus Linnaeus was, and while I was talking, I just suddenly looked up, and I saw A passing by. She saw me, too. She smiled and kind of peeked her head through the door, and waved at me. I laughed, and waved back. I loved it when she was being her cute and goofy self. I just really really really wanted to scream, wanted to call out her name, wanted to go outside and hug her, but then Ma'am Andarino told us to prepare a sheet of paper for a quiz. Damn. Thanks a lot, Universe.
It still was a very precious moment for me, because she fucking noticed me! She fucking smiled and waved! I didn't expect that! ALL MY FUCKING FEELS, MAN! I almost cried, but instead I looked like an idiot in front of my friends because I was laughing and being kilig, so they were all like, "what on earth is the matter with you? Why are you acting like a madman?" and I told them A just passed by and waved at me, and I just couldn't control myself. I was just really really happy, I swear I almost passed out. I was so damn happy I could die! After more than a week of not seeing each other, there she was, doing the first move, waving and smiling at me. This day just couldn't get any better.
Because of that, I pretty much aced the Bio quiz.
I didn't see her anymore after Bio, so I went home. But Jhery Mae and Emeliene had other plans. We went to eat pizza for lunch. I told them that I'd been watching FlordeLiza during my spare time, and they just stared at me like I was the weirdest person in the world. I didn't care; I loved the Marvin-Jolina tandem. Last year, I got so addicted to them that I stayed up at night watching their old movies. Hey Babe, FLAMES, Labs Kita, Okey Ka Lang?, and other fluff. I was also so in love with Jolina's songs, even if they were so baduy and old. LOL. Lakas maka-90s eh. Turns out Jhery Mae has also watched Hey Babe and FLAMES, so we ended up telling the whole story to Emeliene. We talked about other stuff, things only we could understand, and then went home.
I didn't see A in school during the afternoon, which was quite a bummer. But I did see Sir Corsino putting up my classmate's pictures in our Students' Profile wall, and I noticed I WASN'T THERE. What even. They had a pictorial for the wall and I wasn't even informed! What? How? WHY?
So I just sat there, kinda bummed out that I wasn't in any of the pictures, but I figured I was going to be okay. We had Physics, but it was as boring as it could have gotten, and then we had a vacant period, to which I played cards and wrote the continuation of this entry. I also listened to Mariane's love story, which I personally think was the most heart-warming yet heart-breaking story of all time. I could relate to Mariane, too. The same thing happened to me, only Mariane's was the revised story of ours. And I fucking knew how Mariane felt. It's a good thing that Earl isn't a jerk like Karl. There was one thing that really hit me:
"I gave up something permanent for a temporary feeling."
She let go of Earl for what she thought she felt for Natalio. Turns out, Natalio didn't really love her, and she didn't really love him. And now that she finally realized that she still loved Earl, that her feelings never really went away... he's already with someone else.
Just, fuck, you know? Mariane and Earl were one of my favorite couples and it really hurts to see them this way. If only I could do something to help get them back together, I'd do it. But I can't. One thing's for sure, though. If they're meant to be, they will be. Fate will bring them together again.
Early this night, while I was scrolling through Facebook, patiently waiting for a miracle to happen, something popped up on my screen.
"Psst."
It was Andrei! He messaged me! I wonder how long it will take for him and me to finally start a good conversation and eventually just... click? Because I have the biggest crush on him, I've actually been crushing on him ever since high school, and I really really want to get to know him better. I like him, I like him a lot. I hope I do get to know him better. And I hope that maybe, just maybe, he could fall in love with me, because I'd easily fall in love with him.
He asked how I was doing, and I said I was okay. And that was it. He logged out. Weird. And it kinda hurt. Ugh, boys. I still and will never understand them.
So I continued scrolling through Facebook and going on Twitter and typing a post. Just then, my phone vibrated.
"Anak! :)"
OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. DID SHE REALLY JUST TEXT ME?! OH MY GOD! Sobrang haba ng hair ko today! I was so surprised I almost screamed. So, as if on impulse, I immediately replied: "Inaaaayyy!"
And we talked about almost everything. She asked how I was doing, and we talked about her clearance, how Ma'am Calixtro is still such a bitch and how she's forcing A to be the emcee of this year's prom (which I secretly liked, but since A didn't, then I had to pretend I didn't, too). She told me Ma'am Calixtro might use the emcee thing to get her to sign A's clearance form. Ugh, what an ass. A has every right to say no! I was secretly hoping for her to agree to be the emcee, but I don't want her to be forced about it. If she didn't want to be the emcee, then it was fine. As long as she's comfortable with her decision. I wouldn't want her to agree halfheartedly, because that would not be good. So I told her to decide on what she wants, and not let Ma'am Calixtro get the best of her. She asked me how my thesis was doing, and I almost cried because I AM NOWHERE NEAR FINISHED, but I told her it's doing great. I lied. I really do have to work on my thesis soon. ASAP. After a few more lines, she told me she needed to sleep because it's been such a long day. So I bid her good night, and wished her well.
Today was such a fairytale. Only... I wonder if she texts Julia, too? I wonder if she also sends her a message saying, "Anak!" because damn, that would totally hurt. Okay, I know, I'm overthinking again. I need to let it go! Let it go. Let. It. Go. Shake it all off. Ugh. Okay. I love you, A. I love you I love you I love you. See you tomorrow!