I really wish I didn't. It isn't always that way, but when it hits, it hits like a bitch. It doesn't help that my imagination can go as far up as the sky. Sometimes it even goes beyond the sky. Today, like the previous days, my overthinking habit has gone a little too far. I thought about A, about how maybe I don't really mean anything to her, about how one day we'd drift away from each other and probably end up like strangers once again. She told me it wouldn't happen, and I'm going to make sure it wouldn't (duh? let the love of my life go? N-O-freaking-P-E), but I just can't help think about the future. I want her in my future, I want us to stay friends long after we've met, and I want to be able to still be in her life. But I just can't change some things, can I? What's meant to be will happen, and if the fates have already decided that we aren't meant to stay close to each other, then that would hurt a lot, but I have to accept that. I need to let go and let God, right? Everything is possible, and if there's a will, there's a way, right? We'll stay friends, right? Please tell me something. Anything. Tell me it's okay. It's all good. Please. I want to believe everything is going to happen for a reason and that we will still remain good friends in the future, but I just can't help thinking about all the possibilities. I just.. it sucks, okay? Being attached to someone too much that you get freaking scared of losing them. I get attached to easily, I get connected too easily, and I end up getting hurt in the end. Silly me, thinking they'd actually care. Thinking they'd actually stay.
Anyway, today, I:
- Did chores
- Worked on my lectures (what the actual fuuuuug is the point????)
- Bought errands with my dad (I swear I'm going to get my hands on that journal)
- And I got a new USB!
P.S. This just in: I came across a quote that says, "God knows who belongs in your life and who doesn’t. Trust and let go. Whoever is meant to be there, will still be there." Well that's a freaking sign right there. Okay, trust. Let go. Have faith. I have faith in our friendship. I do. I do.