Well, I don't even know how to start this...
Okay so today was our L A S T examination in high school EVER (i have a lot of feelings about this) and it was in our subject Economics with Sir Tico. Everyone just kind of got over the greed and pride or whatever it is and just helped each other out with the exam. No one even bothered being greedy anymore. Hey - it's the LAST exam. Show some respect. LOL
After I got to answer my problem (i was in a hurry oh my god), I got to finish and was about to pass it to sir Tico, but he wasn't there anymore. I panicked A LOT because how was I supposed to pass my paper if he wasn't there??????? but somebody said he was at Sampaguita's so i went there and thank goodness he was there. I've never felt happier to see sir Tico.
I didn't get to stay afterwards because I promised Lexin I'd make him a webpage for our project in Computer. I was supposed to give it to him on Monday but since he said Ma'am De Pedro will not accept any more pages on Monday, I had to do it today. I said I would try. What he was asking for me to do was kind of complicated, but I couldn't resist, so I went home and coded for hours. I mean it was kind of my way to share my learning about HTML and CSS because why not? So I spent about two hours making the webpage (an excerpt from gosugamers), and then went to school just as I finished, because deep inside i was also proud of myself for completing everything in a short amount of time, & I was very excited for Lexin to see it and see how he'd react to it.
But before I even got around to making the webpage, I got to chat with Karl about mostly random stuff (this is me breaking the connection we have lol), and I also got to tell Ma'am Jeanette congratulations. She said thank you so much, and that, "Anak, PM you later, magplantsa pa ak. Haha tc." And it made my day.
When I got to school, I let Lexin see the webpage, and I'm glad he liked it! Other classmates also got to see it and I got complimented for doing such a good job, even only as a favor for a friend. Well, what can I say? I like helping out. I may not seem to like helping out, but I love the feeling of being able to.
Then we played UNO by using an ordinary deck of cards (lol), and I kept on bugging them to go see the CoEd recognition happening as we speak. I wanted to watch it at home, but it wasn't on TV. So I just HAD to gather all the courage I could get, and just bring myself up there. Unfortunately, no one wanted to come, no matter how many times I kept saying, "GUUUUUYYYYSSSSSSSS. RECOGNITIONNNNNN. IMOD KIITTTTTTTT," because apparently all they think of is me being the gay person that I am, and that all I really wanted to see was Ma'am Jeanette. (Which is actually true. I told Ma'am Jeanette I WILL watch the program, even if that meant only on TV. But since it's not on air...)
Turns out, we still had this report in Filipino to finish and I didn't even know it, so I just went home and searched for my report, and as I was printing the document, Mira called me.
"Hain ka?"
"Balay, kay?"
"Aw, mag-iimod ka recognition?"
"Kuntaaaa. Diri. Ambooot. Kay?"
"Kay karuyag ko mag-imod!"
"Mag-iimod ka? Tara! Imod kit. Wait la tampuson ko la adi."
"Yeyyyy, sige sige. Bye!"
And just *snaps* like *snaps* that *snaps*, I had company to see the CoEd PARANGAL. Booyah.
When I got to school, Jheming asked if she could search for her report, too. I couldn't say no, so we went back to my house. Then I reported in Filipino, which wasn't exactly the best thing that happened, but I got through.
Then Mira and I went off to the Gymnatorium. Yaaaaaaayyyyyyy!!! As we arrived, we immediately saw sir Raymond, Ma'am Sheila, Ma'am Norybeth, etc.
"Siiiirrrrr Rayyyymoooonnndddd!!!! Ma'am Sheeeiiiillllaaaaaa!!!! Ma'aaam!!!! Sirrrrrrrrrrr!!!! CONGRAAAAATTTTSSSS!!!!!!"
They all looked so happy and we were just so proud of them for making it. For being there. We went upstairs because the place was just too crowded, and there we saw most of the familiar faces. I pretended I was looking for other student teachers, but really, I only searched for one face, and one face only. Ma'am Jeanette. Where the hell is she?????
Bago ko pa man siya maimod, we saw other faces, too. Tapos, Mira finally exclaimed, "ADTO MAN SI MA'AM!!!" and at first I couldnt find her, so I kept saying, "HAIN???!!!!?!?" and honestly i kinda feel bad kay diri ako an una nakaimod sa kanya. Awww. JK. (a little.) They were getting ready to line up on stage so insisted we should probably go downstairs and talk to them.
We saw ma'am Caryl, Sir Daryl, etc, etc. I remember talking to another teacher, and hearing Mira say, "ada na man si ma'am!!!!" and suddenly, she was right in front of my face.
"MAAAAA'AAAAAAMMMM!!!!!!!" I immediately hugged her.
"Congraaaaattttssss!!!! Aahhhhh!!!"
"Salamaaaaat! Nanu kay adi kam??? Diba may mga klase pa kam???"
"Aw, wa na gad ma'am. Tapos na am klase. Graduate na kami!!!!"
"Iton man ak karuyag sa iyo! Hahahahahah."
"Uy, ma'am, si Pia kuno mapapicture."
(And I swear, in that moment, I wanted to kill Mira. Kidding.)
But at least I got the picture!!! It was so awkward at first, not knowing what pose to do, so I opted for a hug, just because.
And I am extremely proud of this woman right here. I have no words. I'm just really really proud and I'm very happy for her. She's like an angel - heaven-sent, and she is like the sister I never had. So I'm just, really really emotional right now. She's already so successful. I wish I could be like her someday. I love you, I love you, I love you, inay. Always.
Then all of a sudden...
"Uy! Ak parents ngean."
"Ay, hello po!" *awkward wave*
So what I didn't know was that during THE WHOLE TIME we were talking, goofing around, having our picture taken, her PARENTS WERE ACTUALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF US OMG????????????????? I WAS MAKING A FOOL OF MYSELF IN FRONT OF HER PARENTS??? HOW ON EARTH???? THAT'S ACTUALLY VERY EMBARRASSING FOR MY PART, BUT I GUESS THAT'S OK HAHAHAHA. I got to meet her parents!!! MEET. HER. PARENTS! The people she has talked to me about. Her biggest inspirations. I finally got to meet them in person. It was so... fulfilling? Is that the word? I don't know, I just felt complete. Like, ahhhh, finally. They're here. And I'm getting to meet them. Kaupay la sa feeling nga finally, nakilala ko gihap iya parents. Kay sadto, abot la ak sa storya. And I was so drawn to her story that I really wanted to know them, and now, I do. It's... wonderful.
Then after that, her name was called, so she had to go onstage. We waved goodbye, told her congratulations again, and then, she was off.
After that, we saw our other teachers. Ma'am Charlene, Sir CJ, Ma'am Soc Sci, Ma'am Filipino, etc etc. They all looked so well and I just am happy to see all of them gathered together, in this event. They all deserve to be where they are now. And I hope they're happy as much as I am, for them.
We went back to school after a few minutes. Sad, because we didn't even get to see sir Rubenyl, who was one of the reasons why we came in the first place. I felt bad for Mira, because I got my happy ending and she didn't. Unfair.
So when we got back to school, adto sira Mariane, Reia, and all others, and they were talking and playing cards and helping John with his requirements. We told them everything we saw at the Gym, and Mariane and Reia also wanted to come! So I went with them, again. (Pasimple la. I really wanted to stay and watch the whole thing. Why would I not?)
Ate Gi was also there, because she wanted to have her photo taken with Ma'am Charlene and sir CJ. We were upstairs most of the time and I was contented with that - admiring Ma'am Jeanette from afar. We looked for the other student teachers, and we spotted some. We also had fun making fun of the guest speaker, kay sige la niya piyok! Hahahaha. After a while, we still couldn't find Ma'am Charlene anywhere so we went down and got seated at the left side of the Gym "stairs", close to where the teachers were sitting. Close to Ma'am Jeanette. Too close, in fact. It wasn't long after that Ma'am Jeanette saw us and we made eye contact (naks). We laughed together. I even remember her taking a picture of me, then the four of us, and teasing me afterwards. I stuck my tongue out. I mean, two can play at this game, Ma'am. Kala mo ha. We kept congratulating other teachers for receiving numerous awards. Ma'am Sheila was awesome! She received so many! Sir Robert, did, too, and so did Ma'am Regine, etc. Pero walang makakatalo san gintawag na an ngaran ni Ma'am Jeanette P. Cardenas. Because, well.....
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I screamed so loud. Clapped with all my might, as if guguho na ang mundo. A lot of people turned, and ma'am Jeanette was laughing (either with me, or at me). Hahahaha. In retrospect, I think I screamed too loud. LOL, no ragrets.
Tapos there were also times na...
"Pia, gin-inimdan ka ni ma'am Jeanette."
"Weh...............wait, SERIOUSLY?"
Yes, seriously. I caught her looking at me once. HAHAHAHAHAHA. BAAAAAAEEEEE. Gintinago ko la ak feels kay nadiri ak masutaban again, but deep inside I was screaming and crying internally and if I could jump, I would. My goodness! Is all of this even real???
Then things just started getting weirder. And better.
We exchanged looks, and she mouthed, "okay la kam?"
"Yep," I replied.
She motioned two thumbs up, asking if we were alright. So I replied with two thumbs up, too, saying yes. I also motioned something asking for food, which I meant jokingly, of course. Maupay la nagets niya. She laughed, and she said, "niyan, dali la." And we laughed again.
And I guess she just couldn't hold it anymore that in the middle of the awarding, she just stood up, and went to where we were. I was shocked, deeply touched by her sincerity and her genuineness and humility. She stood up to ask us if we were okay. WHO DOES THAT????? It was just so sweet. We told her we were okay, and we congratulated her for her award. Nangutana siya, "di pa kam mauli?" Tas bagaw namo di pa, kay mapapicture kunta si ate Gi kan Ma'am Char, pero di man kami ginpapansin. Awww. So she called ma'am Char for us. But ma'am Char refused. Ayun lang. (Buti nalang di ganun si inay aw hahahaha joke peace!!!!) then she went back to us, tapos nag-iniristurya la kami, about kun san'o am graduation, tas bagaw niya, "alang!" mag-iimod siya. Then her name got called again, for another award. Slow clap. You da bomb, inay. Love you to infinity + 1.
But then ate Gi had to go home. I didn't want to yet, because I wanted to say goodbye to Ma'am Jeanette first, but I couldn't say that out loud so I just went with them and finally headed home. Right as I was leaving for the exit, I took one last glance at ma'am Jeanette and waved at her. But she didn't see. I stopped for a moment and looked at her. She was actually staring at where we were seated and noticed that we weren't there anymore. She looked around, and landed her eyes on mine. I hoped it was mine. I assumed they landed on mine. As if for confirmation, I waved goodbye. I wasn't expecting her to see me, let alone wave back. But she did. She smiled, and waved goodbye. I continued to wave as I smiled, too. ALL. THE. DAMN. FEELS. And then, I went outside.
So that was completely unexpected. Today was one of a kind. I couldn't even find the right words to describe it. Friday the 13th? Please. I seem to always find a way around the curse.
I mean,
Okay so today was our L A S T examination in high school EVER (i have a lot of feelings about this) and it was in our subject Economics with Sir Tico. Everyone just kind of got over the greed and pride or whatever it is and just helped each other out with the exam. No one even bothered being greedy anymore. Hey - it's the LAST exam. Show some respect. LOL
After I got to answer my problem (i was in a hurry oh my god), I got to finish and was about to pass it to sir Tico, but he wasn't there anymore. I panicked A LOT because how was I supposed to pass my paper if he wasn't there??????? but somebody said he was at Sampaguita's so i went there and thank goodness he was there. I've never felt happier to see sir Tico.
I didn't get to stay afterwards because I promised Lexin I'd make him a webpage for our project in Computer. I was supposed to give it to him on Monday but since he said Ma'am De Pedro will not accept any more pages on Monday, I had to do it today. I said I would try. What he was asking for me to do was kind of complicated, but I couldn't resist, so I went home and coded for hours. I mean it was kind of my way to share my learning about HTML and CSS because why not? So I spent about two hours making the webpage (an excerpt from gosugamers), and then went to school just as I finished, because deep inside i was also proud of myself for completing everything in a short amount of time, & I was very excited for Lexin to see it and see how he'd react to it.
But before I even got around to making the webpage, I got to chat with Karl about mostly random stuff (this is me breaking the connection we have lol), and I also got to tell Ma'am Jeanette congratulations. She said thank you so much, and that, "Anak, PM you later, magplantsa pa ak. Haha tc." And it made my day.
When I got to school, I let Lexin see the webpage, and I'm glad he liked it! Other classmates also got to see it and I got complimented for doing such a good job, even only as a favor for a friend. Well, what can I say? I like helping out. I may not seem to like helping out, but I love the feeling of being able to.
Then we played UNO by using an ordinary deck of cards (lol), and I kept on bugging them to go see the CoEd recognition happening as we speak. I wanted to watch it at home, but it wasn't on TV. So I just HAD to gather all the courage I could get, and just bring myself up there. Unfortunately, no one wanted to come, no matter how many times I kept saying, "GUUUUUYYYYSSSSSSSS. RECOGNITIONNNNNN. IMOD KIITTTTTTTT," because apparently all they think of is me being the gay person that I am, and that all I really wanted to see was Ma'am Jeanette. (Which is actually true. I told Ma'am Jeanette I WILL watch the program, even if that meant only on TV. But since it's not on air...)
Turns out, we still had this report in Filipino to finish and I didn't even know it, so I just went home and searched for my report, and as I was printing the document, Mira called me.
"Hain ka?"
"Balay, kay?"
"Aw, mag-iimod ka recognition?"
"Kuntaaaa. Diri. Ambooot. Kay?"
"Kay karuyag ko mag-imod!"
"Mag-iimod ka? Tara! Imod kit. Wait la tampuson ko la adi."
"Yeyyyy, sige sige. Bye!"
And just *snaps* like *snaps* that *snaps*, I had company to see the CoEd PARANGAL. Booyah.
When I got to school, Jheming asked if she could search for her report, too. I couldn't say no, so we went back to my house. Then I reported in Filipino, which wasn't exactly the best thing that happened, but I got through.
Then Mira and I went off to the Gymnatorium. Yaaaaaaayyyyyyy!!! As we arrived, we immediately saw sir Raymond, Ma'am Sheila, Ma'am Norybeth, etc.
"Siiiirrrrr Rayyyymoooonnndddd!!!! Ma'am Sheeeiiiillllaaaaaa!!!! Ma'aaam!!!! Sirrrrrrrrrrr!!!! CONGRAAAAATTTTSSSS!!!!!!"
They all looked so happy and we were just so proud of them for making it. For being there. We went upstairs because the place was just too crowded, and there we saw most of the familiar faces. I pretended I was looking for other student teachers, but really, I only searched for one face, and one face only. Ma'am Jeanette. Where the hell is she?????
Bago ko pa man siya maimod, we saw other faces, too. Tapos, Mira finally exclaimed, "ADTO MAN SI MA'AM!!!" and at first I couldnt find her, so I kept saying, "HAIN???!!!!?!?" and honestly i kinda feel bad kay diri ako an una nakaimod sa kanya. Awww. JK. (a little.) They were getting ready to line up on stage so insisted we should probably go downstairs and talk to them.
We saw ma'am Caryl, Sir Daryl, etc, etc. I remember talking to another teacher, and hearing Mira say, "ada na man si ma'am!!!!" and suddenly, she was right in front of my face.
"MAAAAA'AAAAAAMMMM!!!!!!!" I immediately hugged her.
"Congraaaaattttssss!!!! Aahhhhh!!!"
"Salamaaaaat! Nanu kay adi kam??? Diba may mga klase pa kam???"
"Aw, wa na gad ma'am. Tapos na am klase. Graduate na kami!!!!"
"Iton man ak karuyag sa iyo! Hahahahahah."
"Uy, ma'am, si Pia kuno mapapicture."
(And I swear, in that moment, I wanted to kill Mira. Kidding.)
But at least I got the picture!!! It was so awkward at first, not knowing what pose to do, so I opted for a hug, just because.
And I am extremely proud of this woman right here. I have no words. I'm just really really proud and I'm very happy for her. She's like an angel - heaven-sent, and she is like the sister I never had. So I'm just, really really emotional right now. She's already so successful. I wish I could be like her someday. I love you, I love you, I love you, inay. Always.
Then all of a sudden...
"Uy! Ak parents ngean."
"Ay, hello po!" *awkward wave*
So what I didn't know was that during THE WHOLE TIME we were talking, goofing around, having our picture taken, her PARENTS WERE ACTUALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF US OMG????????????????? I WAS MAKING A FOOL OF MYSELF IN FRONT OF HER PARENTS??? HOW ON EARTH???? THAT'S ACTUALLY VERY EMBARRASSING FOR MY PART, BUT I GUESS THAT'S OK HAHAHAHA. I got to meet her parents!!! MEET. HER. PARENTS! The people she has talked to me about. Her biggest inspirations. I finally got to meet them in person. It was so... fulfilling? Is that the word? I don't know, I just felt complete. Like, ahhhh, finally. They're here. And I'm getting to meet them. Kaupay la sa feeling nga finally, nakilala ko gihap iya parents. Kay sadto, abot la ak sa storya. And I was so drawn to her story that I really wanted to know them, and now, I do. It's... wonderful.
Then after that, her name was called, so she had to go onstage. We waved goodbye, told her congratulations again, and then, she was off.
After that, we saw our other teachers. Ma'am Charlene, Sir CJ, Ma'am Soc Sci, Ma'am Filipino, etc etc. They all looked so well and I just am happy to see all of them gathered together, in this event. They all deserve to be where they are now. And I hope they're happy as much as I am, for them.
We went back to school after a few minutes. Sad, because we didn't even get to see sir Rubenyl, who was one of the reasons why we came in the first place. I felt bad for Mira, because I got my happy ending and she didn't. Unfair.
So when we got back to school, adto sira Mariane, Reia, and all others, and they were talking and playing cards and helping John with his requirements. We told them everything we saw at the Gym, and Mariane and Reia also wanted to come! So I went with them, again. (Pasimple la. I really wanted to stay and watch the whole thing. Why would I not?)
Ate Gi was also there, because she wanted to have her photo taken with Ma'am Charlene and sir CJ. We were upstairs most of the time and I was contented with that - admiring Ma'am Jeanette from afar. We looked for the other student teachers, and we spotted some. We also had fun making fun of the guest speaker, kay sige la niya piyok! Hahahaha. After a while, we still couldn't find Ma'am Charlene anywhere so we went down and got seated at the left side of the Gym "stairs", close to where the teachers were sitting. Close to Ma'am Jeanette. Too close, in fact. It wasn't long after that Ma'am Jeanette saw us and we made eye contact (naks). We laughed together. I even remember her taking a picture of me, then the four of us, and teasing me afterwards. I stuck my tongue out. I mean, two can play at this game, Ma'am. Kala mo ha. We kept congratulating other teachers for receiving numerous awards. Ma'am Sheila was awesome! She received so many! Sir Robert, did, too, and so did Ma'am Regine, etc. Pero walang makakatalo san gintawag na an ngaran ni Ma'am Jeanette P. Cardenas. Because, well.....
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I screamed so loud. Clapped with all my might, as if guguho na ang mundo. A lot of people turned, and ma'am Jeanette was laughing (either with me, or at me). Hahahaha. In retrospect, I think I screamed too loud. LOL, no ragrets.
Tapos there were also times na...
"Pia, gin-inimdan ka ni ma'am Jeanette."
"Weh...............wait, SERIOUSLY?"
Yes, seriously. I caught her looking at me once. HAHAHAHAHAHA. BAAAAAAEEEEE. Gintinago ko la ak feels kay nadiri ak masutaban again, but deep inside I was screaming and crying internally and if I could jump, I would. My goodness! Is all of this even real???
Then things just started getting weirder. And better.
We exchanged looks, and she mouthed, "okay la kam?"
"Yep," I replied.
She motioned two thumbs up, asking if we were alright. So I replied with two thumbs up, too, saying yes. I also motioned something asking for food, which I meant jokingly, of course. Maupay la nagets niya. She laughed, and she said, "niyan, dali la." And we laughed again.
And I guess she just couldn't hold it anymore that in the middle of the awarding, she just stood up, and went to where we were. I was shocked, deeply touched by her sincerity and her genuineness and humility. She stood up to ask us if we were okay. WHO DOES THAT????? It was just so sweet. We told her we were okay, and we congratulated her for her award. Nangutana siya, "di pa kam mauli?" Tas bagaw namo di pa, kay mapapicture kunta si ate Gi kan Ma'am Char, pero di man kami ginpapansin. Awww. So she called ma'am Char for us. But ma'am Char refused. Ayun lang. (Buti nalang di ganun si inay aw hahahaha joke peace!!!!) then she went back to us, tapos nag-iniristurya la kami, about kun san'o am graduation, tas bagaw niya, "alang!" mag-iimod siya. Then her name got called again, for another award. Slow clap. You da bomb, inay. Love you to infinity + 1.
But then ate Gi had to go home. I didn't want to yet, because I wanted to say goodbye to Ma'am Jeanette first, but I couldn't say that out loud so I just went with them and finally headed home. Right as I was leaving for the exit, I took one last glance at ma'am Jeanette and waved at her. But she didn't see. I stopped for a moment and looked at her. She was actually staring at where we were seated and noticed that we weren't there anymore. She looked around, and landed her eyes on mine. I hoped it was mine. I assumed they landed on mine. As if for confirmation, I waved goodbye. I wasn't expecting her to see me, let alone wave back. But she did. She smiled, and waved goodbye. I continued to wave as I smiled, too. ALL. THE. DAMN. FEELS. And then, I went outside.
So that was completely unexpected. Today was one of a kind. I couldn't even find the right words to describe it. Friday the 13th? Please. I seem to always find a way around the curse.
I mean,
- We took our last exam
- We're TECHNICALLY GRADUATES
- I did my friend a favor
- I watched the recognition
- I had a picture with my favorite person in the world
- I had so many moments with her (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
- I got to say goodbye before I left.
- It was just perfect.